Evolving from Existential Angst to Existential Joy

A brief guide into and out of an existential crisis, towards more inner peace, love and compassion.

Photo by Juliana Kozoski on Unsplash


In the recent years, as I have deepened my understanding of our civilization and of human nature, I have come to believe that our growing success in the material plane is confronting a growing number of humans with the bigger questions in life, since we are increasingly freer of afflictions that haunted us in the past. Such is the evolutionary and cosmic process that we find ourselves immersed in. I am writing this post for all those fellow humans that find themselves in the search for meaning and that may be experiencing some fear, confusion or similarly distressing emotions. In summary, you will be fine and be a better human being when the storm passes. Eventually, you will even find some fun in it as I do nowadays.

The Purpose of “Crises” and the Limits of the Mind

I personally enjoy taking my mind to its limits, perhaps more often than I should. I like to explore abstract concepts such as time and space and give my mind a run for its money. This is perhaps why I am so prone to thoughts of an existential nature. In doing so, however, I have found that where my mind ends, my heart begins to take over. In each one of these crises, I have found painful mental limits, in which my mind toiled back and forth trying to unsee the inevitable — its eventual death. The mind´s usual reaction is that of resistance and through it, immense amounts of suffering come along. The suffering can be further exacerbated if you live in an environment in which pondering on existential questions is unusual and perhaps not encouraged. Through time, however, I have found that the way forward is surrendering to the realizations that the particular crisis brings to us.

Surrendering the Ego / Mind and Existential Angst

Surrendering is always a very scary thing to do and requires great courage. Everytime I have done it, however, usually motivated by existential angst, I have landed on the other side on a feather bed of sorts. I find that what hurts when we are confronted with existential realizations is our minds / egos. The part of us that denies our mortality and this identified with our worldly attachments. The part that perhaps gets offended a bit too often and likes to feel important. The reason for which an existential crisis can be so tough and seem inescapable at times is that we cannot get through it by using our minds and our minds is often all that we have been taught to use during our education.

BTW, surrendering does not mean giving up. It is a different kind of surrender, which we all intuitively understand sooner or later.

Reaching Existential Joy

Of course, the mind initially offered its resistance. For months, I thought that that the realization was too large and that I would not make it this time. I cannot convey enough the amount of pain that I felt and how scary it was. Eventually, I gathered all the courage I could and surrendered to these realizations and achieved an existential joy that I had never thought possible. This lasted for a a while and eventually subsided.

I felt totally at one with existence, loving of all things, forgiving of all the misdeeds that had been done onto me and totally accepting of human nature. I understood that in order for us to ponder our existence, we must be faced with non existence and that an eternal existence would be as much of a curse as it can get. I really understood that we cannot be without that which we are not and this applies at all levels of our existence. I understood that the essence of life is love and that with it, live makes total sense and that without it, life makes no sense whatsoever.

Embodying Realizations


Moving Forward

I hope that sharing this experience will help you in finding meaning in your life. Regardless of how scary this time has been for me, I am looking forward to the next one and will surely share it with you all. Also, I just re-read the post again and couldn´t help but laugh, because life is amazing. Back to genomics now.

Investor, Technologist. Post opinions, not financial advice. Do your own research. Follow me at TW:alc2022

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